"So much of recovery is inward and personal, I hadn’t realized that many of my social behaviors were another facet of the eating disorder’s control. Only by letting go of the people-pleasing and the pressure of unrealistic expectations was I finally able to set my own priorities and boundaries. I like to say recovery gave me my life back but that isn’t entirely true; it gave me the opportunity to build a new one." Published 26 January 2023.
"I know now that there is no point in pretending like everything is “fine” in recovery... My support system was relieved I was getting healthy and growing back into the lively me they knew and loved. During this time, I had to sit with the irrational fears my eating disorder threw my way, trying to make me insecure and pull me back in. It criticized my new body and outfits. It told me I wasn’t doing good work." Published 29 November 2022.
"I love yoga. I’m all here for it. Comfy clothes, gentle poses. I love me a good happy baby, not concerned with my looks. I’ll let you decide what’s best for your movement regimen, but I want to talk about yoga discourse in eating disorder recovery." Published 22 September 2022.
A poem I wrote on a run (by whispering out loud over and over to remember the lines) in March inspired me to frame strength as what it means in recovery. "Without fear, Mental math... ED, let me be, I’m mesmerized by the new me... In the end, without my best friend, Numbers rewind, I can run again." Published 16 August 2022.
As an ex-athlete and anorexia survivor, I'm unnerved by the pandemic-driven boom in fitness influencers and social media trends (hot-girl-summer I'm looking at you). In recovery I've reconciled "how diet culture has poisoned the way our culture views self-worth in relation to food and body size." Published 14 April 2022.
In four years I've lived on three continents. Before that, during the first half of my decade long struggle with anorexia, I was constantly traveling for sports and family. Nothing gets me out of my head quite like being in an unfamiliar place, but that doesn't mean the anorexia goes away too. Published 12 April 2022.